A Degree in Hand, Doubts in Mind
Imagine yourself as a leaf, vibrant green during the summer and transitioning to a beautiful yellow in the fall. As the colors transformed, little did anyone know that you would appear even more stunning in the other shade.
‘Nobody knows yourself better than you do’
– Dad
Something I knew but didn’t really adhere to. When I turned 17, I was told that life would be amazing’ only if I cracked the Medical Entrance Examinations. I believed that putting in immense hard work—the typical ‘blood, sweat, and tears’ thing would work. I used to spend 12–14 hours of my day studying and preparing notes. Finally, the day had arrived, and guess who couldn’t get into a med school? Me! Scored well enough to get into an esteemed institution for Physical therapy, but not well enough to get into any Medical school.
What happens when your heart breaks at such a young age? You are too naive and too vulnerable to make a decision. So, what do you do? Follow the herd, and so did I. Today, I feel immensely proud of what I have achieved in my undergrad, but it would be safe enough to say that I did not quite enjoy it. I spent all four years of my undergrad contemplating what I liked, despite disliking what I was doing. Purely by the fact that I did not have what it takes to be, and yes, this reflected in my grades too.
Then why not just give up?
When all 18 years of your life you are trained to be a fighter, you cannot afford to be a quitter, at least for the sake of your parents, is what I was taught. I remember being mindlessly present for all four years of my undergrad and trying to find ways to escape. I reached a point where I felt either my potential was not being recognized or I lacked the rationality necessary to excel as a therapist. After spending five years in a whole different city to ‘pursue my dreams, one fine day, I was home. Graduated. Where most of my friends had already started to pack their bags and fly abroad for their master’s programs, here I was! Undergoing LASIK and recovering from Dengue fever.
While my mom was getting all excited to frame and hang my degree on the wall, I was trying to download LinkedIn and connect with people who were once a ‘pretentious fighter’ like me. Not knowing what to do, right after getting a degree framed with your name, is a feeling that slowly kills you. As a way of getting out of this vicious loop, I went ahead and made a list of what I would like to take home from this course, and everything pointed towards writing, paper reading, public speaking, teaching, and Physiology.
Right Time, Right People
Physiology, to me, represents a curious mind that would go above and beyond to find the answers. But this list somehow got buried deep under the expectations of my parents, peers, neighbors, relatives, and almost every Tom, Dick, and Harry. One day, something happened. My father almost forced me to talk to a peer who changed her career path right after graduating from Medical school. The first thought that came to my mind was, ‘She finished her med school; isn’t that a dream?’ What would she know about me? How would she understand what I am going through? I do not even have anything to talk about! Nobody would like to talk to a directionless or aimless candidate. That’s when my dad said, You never know who or how someone can change your life. Maybe one phone call can change your life! Straight out of Bollywood.
The following day, I called her up, and we ended up speaking for two hours. She said something that I really wanted to hear, but from a third-party perspective, and it took her only two seconds to convince me. PHYSIOLOGY. She said, “I think you clearly do not wish to continue as a Physical therapist, so why don’t you go for an MS in Physiology? That’s booming. It is one career that ticks all of your boxes.” I still remember my hands shaking, and I got out of my room and dramatically said, ‘ I QUIT, and I’M GONNA FLY (to a whole different country and metaphorically too, yes.)’.
Yes, one phone call. One phone call really changed my life. So, I decided to pursue my Master’s in Physiology and quit PT. But what about my parents? What about the expectations of peers, relatives, and some paid career counselors?
Well, it was never easy to convince everyone, and honestly, I got tired in the process of pleasing everyone, too. It took me months to realize that I had to pave my own path. The only people I needed to convince were my parents and my inner circle, which, honestly, isn’t too big.